ALL EARS Community Lesson 4 Review: Making Others Shine
Yesterday, after a month's break, we held Lesson 4 of the "Weekend Group (WE)" on Zoom. The participants seemed more composed than a month ago. Particularly, Ms. C, who is often consulted at work, seemed like a different person, embodying the "ALL EARS" atmosphere, where anyone can consult her easily. Previously, you could see a sense of responsibility in her to initiate conversations, but this has positively changed. While the idea of initiating conversation contributes to the liveliness of the seminar, during listening, it's essential to thoroughly listen to the other person. This means when the other person is speaking, thinking about what to say next is not truly listening.
This has disappeared. As the principal of ALL EARS, I am pleased to report this wonderful change.
This lesson covered Section 3.4 of Chapter 1 of the book, and we've now progressed through about 13% of the total content. We learned deeply about the importance of neutral listening and the significance of listening that highlights the other person. We also discussed methods of self-discovery using ChatGPT. Using ChatGPT as outlined in this guide is beneficial for mental health care, as ChatGPT can explain your conflicts, helping you to understand them better. The book contains dialogues with ChatGPT, which can be difficult to understand and could lead to self-serving interpretations if read alone. It seems that having a LifeCoach's explanation first allows you to realize, "Ah, that's how to use it!"
Today, the participants especially resonated with the LifeCoach's saying that "the moon cannot shine without the sun," recognizing anew the importance of making others shine.
One person said, "I had never thought about making someone else shine (laughs)." That's understandable. It's not surprising that you might focus solely on what you have to say. That's why there is a need to learn to listen. And while they said they seldom get a chance to practice listening, they mentioned they were taking online English conversation lessons. I suggested, "Why not try practicing listening intently to your teacher?"
In fact, I restarted English conversation lessons myself because I had developed listening skills. Ten years ago, I had a chance to talk to a foreigner on the street, and despite not having studied English for a long time, I was surprised that I could understand him. That moment made me realize I had been too focused on speaking myself.
Last month, when I visited Kamakura, I was "ALL EARS" in a conversation with a lady who spoke "Spanglish." Although I understood only about half of her English, she felt that I was actively listening and continued to speak at length.
Opportunities for active listening naturally come to those who make a conscious effort to listen.
**Feedback on this lesson from participant:**
Thank you very much. It was a dense and substantial lesson. Until now, I was unconsciously thinking, "I need to say something good." But gradually, my focus shifted to letting the other person speak, and this time, to making the other person shine. Instead of feeling the need to impart some good knowledge I know, I'll try to focus on listening, picking up keywords from their story, articulating them, and reflecting them back. Moreover, to become a safe and trusted person, I will try listening without criticizing, just letting the other person shine. Thank you for the enriching time.
The participants who are acquiring the attitude of listening are now aiming to provide feedback based on the other person's story rather than self-centered feedback. Everyone is progressing well, so I'm looking forward to future lessons.
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